StrongHer Life- (11)

2015 you rocked …how was yours? 

So it’s that funny time between Christmas and New Year. I’ve taken a few days just to be and relax with my family, but when I relax I get all creative and want to write. To share my story and invite you all to sit round the camp fire and listen to my stories. If you want to. 

So 2015 WOW what a year. How was yours?

What went on?

  • Becoming more of me then ever before
  • Stepping into my true power
  • A clear and inspiring dream
  • A new business
  • A limited company
  • A StrongHer team
  • Amazing clients
  • A true love (not)
  • A broken heart
  • A stronger Nic
  • My  fellow gurus
  • My Platipils
  • My mentors and coaches
  • A life changing Thailand adventure
  • New friends and beloved ones
  • Supporters and fans … One hater
  • My Sam dog
  • My loving family
  • Fun and giggles
  • The start of a dream to become a mum 
  • You are ENOUGH

For the first time in my life I can truly say with certainty that I AM ENOUGH. How do I know this … because I’ve had the courage to get to know who I am and really fall in love with all that I am.

You don’t need to be slimmer, more intelligent, know more, lose weight, strongher, fitter just be YOU. But first you have to know YOU. Being YOU is a gift to the world and to those who love you.

So how did I learn this, amongst my 20 most powerful lessons for this year. 

 1) You FIRST

It’s ALWAYS you first. If you don’t put YOU first then you just live on other people’s agendas and time that won’t give you the life you want. YOU first and being selfish gives a better version of YOU back to the world … Surely your partner, children, family and friends deserve that?

BUT above all you deserve that, to live a life you love in a body your proud of. I’ve done more of me first than ever before this year, 3 weeks in Thailand being the biggest me first statement.

 2) Find your FREEDOM

Do you know what freedom means to you? Do you have a clear dream of what you want? If you don’t how will you know what you’re working towards?
I have a clear dream … to be a mum and that motivates me more than anything it is my rocket fuel to keep me going to push me out of my comfort zone and step into my true power.

 3) It takes COURAGE to know who you are

Looking hard at yourself isn’t easy, trust me I know. It takes courage and is the work that most people aren’t willing to do. BUT it means that you have certainty and clarity on who you are and what you want.

It means that you can create prediction and response for yourself in this sometimes-crazy world. You can’t control other people and you shouldn’t try but you CAN create certainty within you.

You deserve that right?

 4) Invest in YOU

I’ve spent over £15k this year investing in ME. Yes to grow my business but my business only grows when I grow. It’s okay to invest in YOU, to give yourself a huge vote of confidence and say YES I want more and I want to be more.

INVEST IN YOU AS YOU ARE YOUR ONLY ASSET when it comes to it.

10 days in Thailand on the Guru project cost me £5k, then the investment of time. Money and effort meant that I was INVESTED that I was laser focused on what I learnt and as a result my life changed.

That new car or new handbag all well and good BUT investing in changing YOU, that’s for LIFE. To have a better life, to be a strongher and better version of you to step into happiness and fulfillment. That to me is what investing is all about.

 5) Ask for help

I have an AMAZING support network and ask for help when I need it. I have sought out the people I resonate with and believe in to work with. I know now that asking for help is STRONG, it’s a sign of knowing that there is someone there that has done what you want and that they can help you. Don’t suffer alone and be a martyr.

Stick you hand up and ask for help, support and love. Being an entrepreneur can be lonely and hard work, having my support crew helps me know I’m not alone … AND HAVE FUN.

 6) Love starts with YOU

You can’t give out what you don’t have. So if you don’t have LOVE how can you expect to give it to others? It’s not arrogant to say I LOVE YOU … it just means you know who you are and accept all that you are wobbly bits and imperfections included. All the mysterious magic that makes you

I LOVE ME .. that’s not arrogance, that’s certainty from knowing you are enough and being at peace with who you are. I think that’s a great place to be BUT it takes work and a lot of the internal work.

7) Love is always HOPE

I’ve been heartbroken this year, a man I thought was the love of my life was the love of someone else’s. BUT to me love is always hope. Would I do things differently, NO not really.

I led from a place of love and that bought hope. Would I slow things down and not be so open and move at a slower pace. NO. I let love lead and even since then when I’ve met guys I’ve liked, I’ve been authentic and true.

 8) Have FUN and be like a child

I’d let my life become so serious before Thailand, it was about numbers and income and WORK. I’d made it like that, I’d created that with my need for security. BUT Thailand was 25 days of fun and giggles, sniggering like children and laughing my face ached. Whatever you are doing think like a child and make it fun.

There is not evidence to believe life has to be serious NONE so don’t live it like that.

 9) SLOW DOWN

Life doesn’t need to be at 100 miles an hour. How does it feel to be caught in a rushed ground hog day existence to ALWAYS rush. NOT great right? So don’t make it so.

SLOW IS FAST, what do I mean? Well rather than rush in stop and think first, then find the pace that is right for you. It might not be as fast as someone else but that’s irrelevant. I’m building my business at a pace that’s right for me. As soon as I look at someone else and compare it’s NOT FAST enough. So find YOUR pace to build your dream life and body.

10) Comparison is the thief of joy

Comparing used to kill me at times and kick off a pity party, “Why not me” and I’d KICK my arse. Instead now I look for PROGRESS. I look to bounce back a little more quickly when I’m not feeling great. Write a new blog. Create a new programme to help women. Improve something in my business … all of it is PROGRESS.

When there is progress there is less need to compare. When you are focused on your road the need to compare isn’t there so much.

 11) It’s okay to experience the dark side

There can’t be light without dark, yet just like Star Wars there is a need to balance the two. You can’t know and step into the light without knowing the dark.

And after the dark there is ALWAYS LIGHT, so embrace the darkness. This year I lost my fear of the dark, I don’t LIKE the dark days but I know they lead to a brighter light afterwards.

^^^ A little bit Star Wars there lol!

 12) Trust YOURSELF 

Have faith and confidence in who you are and trust that inner voice from your heart. Trust your feelings as they are your truth speaking. I used to shy away from THAT voice and ignore it.

I used to live by the views and opinions of others and that WAS NOT my life. That was living a life by proxy. That was NOT a happy life. That was 3 years trying to leave a husband I no longer loved. That was staying in a corporate career that was killing my soul.

That was doubting myself and just led to a path of unhappiness.

 13) Build your DREAMs and stop feeding your NIGHTMARES

I’m still guilty of this one thing happens and that leads me to jump ahead and predict a whole future of what I DON’T want. STOP BEING A TIME TRAVELLER. I was SOO guilty of that I truly was. Eg a client leaves, means I have a shit business and no one wants my help … WRONG.

Instead focus on your dream. For me now that means focus on my business to make them what I want to support my dream of being a mum. So I’ve made some BIG changes in my business since I’ve been back from Thailand and more to come BUT they are all moving towards the dream.

 14) Your POWER is in your struggles

I’ve learnt that your struggles bring you POWER. If you can accept them, see them for what you’ve learnt and grow from them. Sound woo woo? It’s my belief that our struggles give us power.

Imagine this the love of your life, turns out to be the love of someone else’s … namely his wife’s. To recover from that was tough BUT now we still speak sometimes and I have not bitterness or regret about it. Just what I learnt about what I want from a partner, that I truly still want to be a mum and that I’m ready to meet someone when the universe deems it so.

So rather than wallow and be a victim to your past. Look at the power from your struggles, look at how you’ve come through them and what you’ve learnt. How much better you know yourself. Then YOU’LL GROWN, THEN THEY’VE GIVEN YOU POWER.

15) Chose experiences not STUFF

For me one of the things that means freedom to me is being able to travel. So this year I spent nearly a month in Thailand and nearly 3 weeks in Cyprus. I want to see the world, experience new cultures, food and have time to be ME. That is worth more to me than STUFF, so a fancy new car or shoes … I’d rather put that towards my next flight. 2016 is the year I do more of this and plan the year for ME and my travel first.

16) Find YOUR MAGIC 

We all have magic in us, every single one of us. YES even you, don’t deny it. You might know it already or you might still be on the road to discovering it. BUT you owe it to the world to find it. Don’t shy away and play small there are people waiting to be helped with your magic.

My magic is helping women see that they are enough and stepping into their true power. It’s taken me 38 years and a trip to Thailand to find it but now it’s my mission and purpose.

 17) Immerse YOURSELF

You can’t always find what you want and need from our day-to-day life. Sometimes it’s necessary to step away and immerse yourself in an experience to take those huge leaps forward. Time to focus on YOU away from pressures of the day-to-day, stresses of your life and your responsibilities.

BUT that’s okay. It’s not selfish to take that time for you. To just be, to focus on you and breathe. I immersed myself in Thailand for 3 weeks and my life as a result is happier and more of what I want.

18) Live your VALUES 

My values this year have seen me through the dark times. They give me consistency and certainty in this crazy world that I can’t control. So instead my values give me certainty within me. Imagine being at home ANYWHERE in the world, not feeling lonely and being so at one with who you are that you find that pride in who you are again. You walk taller, shoulders back and head up. 

They are you compass and with them you’ll always know your way home. What does that mean? 
Well my values are: 

Love – Love YOU first and then always come form a place of love. 

Freedom – Create freedom within your life to be who you are. 

Courage – Take courage to get to know who you are. 

So I would always act from there first and think of them when I’m in doubt then I get clarity over time. They are NOT always easy to find, you might want to try them on and they might not always fit. BUT keep looking … they are one of your superpowers. 

19) Upgrade your BELIEFS 

Your beliefs are the storylines that you live your life from. They are so powerful: 

Beliefs = thoughts 

Thoughts = Actions 

Actions = Reality 

And so the circle beings again. So it they serve you and give you the life you want then AMAZING. BUT if you’re not where you want to be then they might need upgrading.

What do I mean? If you do what you’ve always done you’ll have what you always have. So think about your beliefs around:

  • Money 
  • Health 
  • Relationships 
  • Success 

See which ones don’t serve you and upgrade them where needed. Make them serve you. Again whilst away Thailand I saw how my money beliefs DID NOT serve me they kept me in fear and scarcity for so long. 

20) Don’t ask PERMISSION 

You are an AMAZING, woman you DO NOT NEED PERMISSION from anyone to do what you want. To live your dream you need to start living from a place that is YOU first. Yes I understand you have:

  • A partner
  • A family
  • Friends and loved ones 
  • Responsibilities
  • A career  

 But you need to need to stop asking for permission and living for them. Love for YOU so they get the BEST of you. They deserve that but more than that YOU deserve that. 

What did you learn this year? 

Oh and also .. small dogs rock, Star Wars is immense, falling more deeply in love with Thailand, knowing I will bring my daughter into my life and I WILL have the dream business to support that. 

^^^^ So ALL IN ALL quite a year of progress. 

 

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