“I know what I need to do but I just can’t seem to do it.” 7 Reasons you Don’t Stay the Course I recently asked this question to my lovely StrongHer team.
Do you know what to do to get happy and healthy?
Reply (A) if you feel you DO NOT KNOW what to do. Reply (B) If you KNOW what to do but just can’t seem to DO it. Can you guess that the answers were? Every single one of our lovely ladies answered “B’.
So what does that mean Nic?
Well let’s think about it. Everyone knows what to do when it comes to it to be happier and healthier. Maybe not that surprising really you only have to type weight loss into google and you’ll come up with millions of answers. We can search online at any time on our phones and find answers to any question relating to being happier and healthier you can think of.
So a lack of information isn’t the challenge. In fact we live in an age of information overload. We have the opposite problem. There’s too much contradictory and confusing information.
Take an example:
You’re deciding what to have for dinner.
You KNOW chicken and vegetables is a better choice than the pizza BUT you still for pizza.
Or you KNOW that getting to the gym, that class or walking the dog is a better choice than staying in and collapsing onto the sofa for the night .
BUT you still end up cozying up for the night.
Or you KNOW that finishing that bottle of wine when you meant to have “Just the one’, won’t help you get into that dress you want to.
Let’s get to the reasons WHY.
Here’s some of the things that could be happening and how to fix them.
- Clear goals and a strong WHY reason
We all start the year with New Year’s Resolutions right? Yet 80% of us will fail to achieve them. Can you even remember you goals for this year? The StrongHer Fix: Have goals that are SMART, specific, measureable, attainable, realistic and timed. Yes that’s all well and good but we need more than that. You need goals that make you excited so that the hair on the back of your neck stands up and you get goosebumps. You know what I mean.
For example, drop a dress size in 3 months. SMART yes, but the feelings … I’ll be excited about getting dressed to go out, I’ll feel confident in myself again, I’ll feel sexy and more connected with my partner and I’ll be seeing my children a great example. ^^^^ Now that’s a goal 🙂
Think about how you will feel when you get to that goal, step into it feel it and breathe it in. Imagine you are there NOW. Goals that might make you FEEL, happy, content, proud. All those great feelings. When you have those feelings that is the key. Those feelings are what will drive your goal seeking system and fire up a hormone called dopamine. This will make you a goal digger and just keep going and going.
2) Living in fear
When we’re “not thinking”, “feeling stressed” or “manic” then we’re not truly being human. What do you mean Nic? Well those are signs you’re living in the animal part of you’re brain. The part that just wants to protect you and to make sure you survive.
The part of the brain that is from Jane the cavewoman days of our ancestors, when we were at the mercy of dinosaurs and sabre tooth tigers. Our brain is still designed to focus on survival first, social connection second and self-actualization third.
So by being in threat and living in fear, the human goals and desires you have go out the window. Your brain will go back to survival.
The StrongHer Fix: The good news is… it’s NOT your fault as such. It’s just how your brain has evolved and is designed to work. BUT you now have the power of awareness and knowing. Over time you can learn how to get yourself out of threat. Some more hints and tips here, our guide to a StrongHer brainset is here.
3) Subconscious and automatic thinking
Your brain loves prediction and response. When it knows what is going to happen it feels safe, so it will create it’s own. On the flip side when it feels that prediction isn’t there it will create it’s own. And go back to patterns that have kept your safe before.
Even if it’s not in your long-term interest, short term it’s survival. So for example, a row with your partner the pattern is to maybe grab a glass of wine. That is the pattern the brain goes back to, it feels safe in the short term because it brings you back to prediction. Think of the times you’ve reached for the chocolate, the wine or the not so healthy food … did you even notice you were doing it?
The StrongHer Fix: Again, awareness is the first step. Stepping out of subconscious thinking and into a more conscious mentality. Then reflect back that goal to your pattern of behavior. Are they aligned? Eg does this wine/chocolate/cake help me to drop a dress size? No then you’re more likely to make a better decision.
Put simply our beliefs, lead to our thoughts, lead to our feelings , leads to our actions, leads to our reality. So as you change over time, start to change some of those beliefs you might have a lag of feelings and actions. So for example. The belief that eating low calorie will hope me lose weight. Leads to another calorie cutting diet and then that hunger, tiredness and not being happy.
The StrongHer Fix: Put in place new beliefs and start with some smaller ones then build up. I’m a woman of action and need to SEE something to believe it so for me I had to believe that eating a healthy balanced diet worked, then make that how I ate and the results were the proof that it worked for me. Be aware of those old beliefs and then replace them with new ones that serve you in a better way.
5) Lack of accountability
Do you start again on Monday a lot with your diet and training? Why do you fall off track? One of the thing things that ALWAYS comes up when I speak to women who want some more help and to join the StrongHer team. “I need to be accountable.” So when they join us they are EXPECTED to turn up for training or coaching sessions. They’re supported to find the first steps that help them eat a more balanced and healthy diet, the StrongHer No Diet, Diet.
We check in every 5 weeks to reset goals. Weight and measure them. So we make them ACCOUNTABLE. They invest time and money to get this accountability AND support, within StrongHer you get the accountability YES but you also get the support.
The StrongHer Fix: Find a supportive friend and share your goals and the first steps you’ll take to move towards it. Check in daily with them to say what you HAVE done to move towards that goal. Or what your biggest challenge has been.
6) Not putting YOU first You’re BUSY
I know that you have your family, your job or business AND then getting more happy and healthy, plus toning up is just ONE more thing. The first question I ask women we speak to when they apply to join is “What do you do for you? What are you passions and things you LOVE doing?” It really stumps some of them, for others they go straight back to talking about their families and NOT them. It’s often seen as selfish to spend time on themselves when they have a family.
BUT one of the core StrongHer beliefs is that love starts with YOU and doing that gives a better version of you to the world. You become more YOU. Do you think your partner wants a happier you? Do you think your children want a more relaxed and contented you? ^^^ Answer for yourself but I would think YES.
The StrongHer Fix: Do one thing a day that’s just for YOU. A bath before bed, 30 minutes listening to your favourite music … one thing and do it.
6) The Wrong Speed
We all have the right pace for us. That feels right and that we’re comfortable with, make the journey more enjoyable. For some that’s break neck ALL in pace and for others it’s more steady. Here’s the THING. It’s YOUR choice, there is NO right or wrong just what’s right for YOU. Focusing on YOUR pace means that you don’t need to compare. You don’t need to look around, just need to focus and take step by step. Again it’s one of the StrongHer principles that you take the journey at YOUR pace.
It makes it smooth, enjoyable and fit in with your life. So for example we might spend a week focusing on better sleep. That’s IT. That’s how we make lasting changes and have a BIGGER impact. Just think of the low calorie diets you tried, that you might then have added hours of cardio to. How was that for you? Opps and then it all STOPPED.
The StrongHer Fix: Find the right pace for you. Focus on one step at a time and then the next and then the next. Find what works for YOU. Oh and stop comparing. “Comparison is the thief of joy”. This is YOUR journey to do YOUR way. We’ll hold your hand and guide you but you drive it and own it. That’s how we get lasting changes.
Ready to get Started?
If you’re really struggling and need some help but don’t know where to start and feeling a little lost. You can book a FREE StrongHer Transformation Session, worth £97 here.
30 minutes with one of our amazing, expert coaches to find out why things haven’t worked for you before and get clarity on what you’re goals are.
We only run a limited number as we want to help YOU as much as possible.
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