She was so tired as soon as she woke up, “I’m exhausted” even before the day begins. Then as she hit snooze she remembered she had an early meeting with her boss. So she sat up and dragged herself out of bed. Quick shower and then the usual nightmare of getting dressed, nothing quite fighting. She got into her car and then rushed off to work, no time for breakfast today so she grabbed a coffee as she walked into the office.
The day passed as they all did a whirlwind of meetings, calls and e mails. She NEVER stopped and about 3pm another coffee to pick her up as her eyes were heavy and she was struggling to concentrate. 5pm and the day was no where near done, another meeting had dropped in her diary and today she really wanted to be home to relax.
That lady was ME.
Let me paint the scene for you…
She was the most unhappy, depressed, lost corporate married woman I’d ever known.
Totally exhausted from working like crazy and…you know…never quite feeling ‘enough’.
This was NOT how life was meant to be.
Not in the slightest.
It seemed the only way out was to work more, earn more and hope it paid for a better life.
But that never works.
Yeah, you get more ‘stuff’ but you can’t ‘buy’ stuff to solve those horrible empty feelings on the inside…right?
This is a story that fitted my own personal situation so, so accurately.
Until…after a roller coaster journey of heart breaking, life changing, energy sucking twists and turns… i became more and more of ME.
So I get that you worry, I still have those worries some days. So today I share the top 10 worries I had in corporate world and my truth for each one.
1.Facing off with the boss
We’ve all had that boss that you don’t get on with. They are not someone you’d usually be friends with or have in your life. They’re unpredictable and one day they LOVE you and the next day they questioning you like a criminal in the cells.
Truth: Your boss does NOT define you, it’s your choice how you react to them. So how can you build some prediction and response to you know what to expect.
2. “Trying” to get to the gym
So you pay for the gym at work because it’s “easy” to get to but you haven’t been for weeks. You keep meaning too, but you wake up so tired you don’t want to leave your bed. OR you get stuck in a meeting and then are too tired to go.
Truth: Book it in your diary and honour it, even if it’s twice a week to start with. OR give yourself a few weeks if you’re so busy and be at peace with giving yourself a break. You have all your life to train BUT it should be something FUN not just another thing.
3. Always being tired
You’re always TIRED, not just a bit tired from a long week BUT bone tired that an early night doesn’t seem to shift. You survive the day on coffee to keep you going and the when you get home you just collapse onto the sofa.
Truth: There needs to be a change, you need to make some time for YOU and time to slow down and relax. And let’s be honest are you fuelling yourself in the right way to give you energy. A good, protein breakfast can really make a difference.
4. What to wear
You want to be an individual but NOT stand out. You want to show off your figure but not attract the attention of Mr Tits Pervert. You want to feel good and sexy, but not have all of you on show. You have a meeting in the world’s coldest office today BUT you don’t want to get hot walking there.
Then after an age of browsing your wardrobe you make a decision BUT it doesn’t feel right. Most of your clothes don’t fit either as you need to shift a few more pounds to get back to where you feel good.
Then you worry is it too bright/bland, short/revealing, cold/hot, tight/fitted but then you just think DAMN it and go with it.
Truth: Men don’t truly notice what you wear, it’s the ladies in the office that truly do. Go through your wardrobe and think about how each item leaves you feeling. If it’s good eep it, if not get rid. Control your environment.
5. How to make the diet work at work
It’s ANOTHER thing you worry about. What to eat at work, the canteen had the world’s largest range of sandwiches and you never know what to eat for the best. You want to lose the weight and your really conscious of how you look BUT you know you don’t eat well at work … the muffins with your coffee and fish and chip Friday. It’s so confusing what to eat more of and what to eat less of.
Truth: Ask for help and a simple plan to stay on track at work, keep it simple so you can just follow the plan and make some small improvements.
6. Being a mum and having a career
I’m not a mum so can’t comment from experience BUT I do work with ladies who are very successful and mum’s too. The priorities must be hard to juggle and give 100% to both, your children you love and the career that you’ve worked so hard for. Bedtime stories vs the boardroom.
Truth: Do the best you can. Time with your children IS time with them, switch off and unplug.
7. The ticking timebomb
Knowing that you have only a certain number of years to have children and feeling under pressure to make it happen. BUT also wanting to achieve more and more in your career or with your business.
Truth: You can have both, BUT really and truly what do you want in your heart? What makes your heart sing and what do you see in your future?
8. Not being able compliments
Picture this, “you were great in that meeting, well done,” yes I did okay but … yes but not but as I call it. You can’t just say thank you and you always try to qualify it or detract from it.
Truth: Why not give yourself a break and trust in the person that’s giving you the compliment.
9. Trying to find balance
Trying to be the fun one WHILST being taking seriously, the confident one when you’re really scared or the fair one but not wanting to be a pushover. I often found it hard to know how to “act” at work and how to be myself. BUT that’s because I wasn’t being myself.
Truth: Just be YOU, the authentic you proudly and confidently YOU.
10. Always saying sorry
It’s always so easy to say SORRY, it’s so easy for women to just assume it’s our fault and that we’ve done something.
Truth: You never need to apologise for being YOU.
11. Being labeled
If you’re driven and single minded with your career you worry about being labelled an obsessed career woman. If you’re not too confident and shy away, you worry about being labelled the quiet one and always being passed by for promotion.
Truth: Don’t worry about being labelled, that’s just the judgement of others it’s NOT who you really are.
12. If still single after 30 be prepared to be asked why
I’ve learnt this myself, if you’re over 30 and single you WILL be asked why. Like there’s a reason for it and it’s a negative thing, like being a leper.
Truth: When it comes to it you’re not SINGLE, you’re just YOU.
12. Being found out
The more senior and successful you get the more it feels like you might “get found” out one day, This is classic Imposter Syndrome when you just don’t feel like you deserve to be where you are and deep down are lacking some certainty about who you are and what you want. It’s not unusual for very successful people to feel like they’ll fall from their pedestal soon enough and come crashing down.
Truth: Sit down and write all your achievements, see who you truly are and what you’ve already done in your life. What’s your impact on others? Your ripple effect? There’s only MORE to come.
13. Being selfish
I would drag myself into work EVEN when i wasn’t well in my mind taking time off wasn’t fair on my team and was being selfish. For me being ill they’d have to do MORE work. Yet I wasn’t serving them by going in and being ill and I was definetly NOT serving ME.
Truth: You’re team and those you work with deserve the best of you, BUT even more than that you do. So take your time when you need it.
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